Toasting at a wedding…how is it done? What do you do when you are asked to give a toast?

Most weddings are timed out to a T during the wedding planning process. If you are giving a toast during a wedding, usually you know that ahead of time. This is good because on one hand, you have more time to prepare and it’s not coming out of nowhere. On the other hand, you also have more time to worry and prepare and let your anxiety build up.

Some people have no problem with giving public speeches and addressing a crowd. They may have confidence in their ability to orate or just know that their speech is solid and they have no deep fears about speaking in public like others might.

Maybe you’re the type to worry that your voice is too loud or too quiet, that you will stumble over your words, or you will do something totally humiliating that is just so bad that you can’t even imagine clearly what it will be. Giving a toast during a wedding can be challenging, but if you prepare and try to come to grips with it, even the most anxious public speaker can pull it off.

Today we’re giving you a crash course in wedding toasts. Even if you don’t know what to say or have chills at the idea of speaking in public, it’s your lucky day.

If you are getting married, choose who you would like to give a toast.

Traditionally, the best man and the maid of honor are the ones giving the speeches first at a wedding reception. If you are getting married, be sure to ask them how they feel about it instead of assuming they’ll be up for it. Some people have severe social anxiety! Don’t string too many toasts back to back as well– there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

If you’ve been asked to give a speech and accept, get started on drafting and writing a speech early.

You know what they say– never wing it. If you’ve been asked to give a speech, literally sit down and draft out what you would like to say. You can polish from there and have your speech on hand or memorized. It’ll also help you work through what you ultimately would like to say in your toast as well so that by the time the big day comes you are ready!

Never improvise a toast.

We said it above, but this one bears repeating. If you are the type of person that can work with bullet points and know what you want to say, fine. But trust us, that spotlight can be intense. You may even blank out entirely. Whether you’re the bride & groom thanking your guests or toasting to them, always plan, never improvise. Ever!

Wedding toasts can be short and sweet– and ideally they will be! Try to make a toast succinct but with a payoff. Avoid going too long and meandering–stick to your script, literally.

Write out your toast, prepare, rehearse, and when the moment comes, give your toast with heart (and projection and enunciation) and let your toast be a wonderful accent to a special day, and the rest will come together beautifully.